In order for children to grow up with self-awareness, empathy, insight and the ability to regulate themselves emotionally and physically, they must, in their earliest years (0-5) be able to count on a stable, nurturing foundation. Early Relational Health is a term we use to encompass that totality of relationship experiences with parents and other caregivers that allow for a child to feel secure, cared for, healthy and loved. Early Relational Health is made up of thousands of tiny, everyday moments.
In a post-pandemic world, building strong emotional foundations for children becomes even more critical. Many children and families experienced disruption and stress significant enough to cause these foundations to crack – or delayed the beginning of their early relational health foundation.
A recent article in USA Today explains it this way: “The pandemic created stress responses in all of us, and children are not immune to this,” said Lauren Starnes, a child development expert and chief academic officer of Goddard School, one of the largest franchised early learning providers in the country.
Caregivers, parents, teachers and pediatricians tell us that children whose life experience has largely been a world of pandemic lockdowns may be struggling. Socializing may be tough for them. Skills like sharing or waiting their turn may not have been learned yet.
Parents, teachers, childcare workers and caregivers are formative instructors for youngsters, particularly when it comes to socialization. Here are a few ways these important people can support children as they learn and adapt to a post-pandemic world:
Co-regulation is a tool caregivers can use to help children regulate their emotions. Like many foundational tools, co-regulation doesn’t require anything fancy, it’s easily incorporated into the everyday. For an infant or toddler, co-regulation is simple, but not always easy: feed them when they’re hungry and help them get to sleep when they’re tired. If a child is stressed, upset or anxious, an adult can co-regulate them by cuddling, holding, rocking or singing softly to them.
Use blocks to work through blocks. Say a child isn’t emotionally ready to play with other children. Blocks are a tool which can allow that child to play near other children, while still playing on their own. The child may move into parallel play from there – or even, eventually, cooperative play.
Guide behaviors gently. If you take your child to a play activity, like visiting a park or playground, beforehand, gently remind them to say please and thank you, to take turns with other children etc. Be sure to affirm good behavior. “I like how you waited your turn. That was very polite.”
The benefits of setting a solid, early relational health foundation for children affect more than children’s development. Turns out, for caregivers, emerging neuroscience research indicates the potential of the adult brain to change and grow as well, in anticipation and response to care-giving experiences.
In other words, it’s a win-win.
Sources:
https://www.allisonlatona.com/blog/2019/1/28/the-gift-of-a-solid-foundation